Reaching a goal we’ve set for ourselves makes us happy, right?

Hmm, not always. Studies show that there is definitely a difference in the degree to which different life goals can raise our well-being — pursuing some makes us happier than aiming for others.

For example, pursuing goals which allow us to use or develop our competences or learn something new will make us happier than pursuing some which don’t.

Making a contribution that goes beyond ourselves will also make us happier in the long run. Whether it’s raising children, teaching, helping others, or getting involved in politics.

Life goals allowing us to experience more interpersonal closeness and which have a positive impact on our relationships also tend to increase our well-being.

Less happy, according to studies, are we when we pursue life goals such as striving for wealth, for social recognition, for power and influence, or for complete independence from others.

Achieving these goals does not lead to lasting happiness. At best, it brings a short happiness spark which doesn’t last long. This is because we quickly get used to the new objects or to the improved circumstances. In order to get a “happiness kick” again, we have to keep pedaling in the so-called hedonistic treadmill.

Pursuing materialistic goals actually correlates with depression, anxiety, narcissism and symptoms of illness. Since decades studies continuously show that earning more money doesn’t bring us more life satisfaction (at least after covering for needs such as food, housing etc.).

Moreover, materialistic goals rob us of the energy to pursue life goals that would better satisfy our basic psychological needs, namely to use and expand our own competencies, experience social connectedness, and act autonomously.

We are also not very good at predicting what exactly will make us happy. That’s why many of us strive for materialistic goals. In fact, we usually don’t take into account the adaptation effect when making predictions.

So — what to do?

A good way to set your life goals is to first think about yourself. What are your strengths? How do you show them in different situations? How can you organize your life so that you use them as often as possible? What are your interests? Do you have passions or hobbies that you enjoy pursuing? At what moments / during which activities do you get into flow states where you forget about time?

What values do you have, so what is important to you in life, what do you find worth striving for?

The more our strengths, values and goals are in harmony with each other, the more meaning we experience in life. You can also start the other way around — what sources of meaning do you have in your life? Martin Seligman, one of the founding fathers of positive psychology, believes that the highest potential for creating meaning in life is by tapping into our strengths.

Different people have different individual sources of meaning in life, but recurring themes emerge: Family and relationships are mentioned quite frequently, caring for others, helping others, work, religion/faith, nature, creativity, hobbies, interests and passions, achievement and accomplishments, contributing to a cause, growing as a person are other examples.

I hope you enjoyed reading this article from the fascinating positive Psychology field. If you are interested to learn more about it you’re welcome to sign up for my newsletter!